July 18th, again

2020-07-18

Saturdays. Oft fraught with anxiety and anger and frustration. Who are we kidding – every day is Anxie-day, or Blurs-day, or Cry-day. Perhaps we need to be brave, use our courage to stroll into the battlefield and see who the victor will be. Alas it’s just us working stiffs, ain’t it?

The calendar says Karl and Dean W. – fine folk whom I don’t celebrate enough. I pondered my dad’s dad’s dad – not a clue. huh. there are still plenty of things that baffle me on a day to day basis, and the occasional ‘what the hell wallace – have you ever been thoughtful of the moment you’re crashing thru? perhaps a resolution for the new year??’
Perhaps rabbit, perhaps.
some pondering takes me to places that aren’t especially uplifting though. places behind and beyond grasp, reach & understanding – it’s kinda like listening to a cover of Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Matze Rossi. Pretty sure some of it was translated into German, but … maybe not. alas, Saturdays are a wonderful adventure into the bizzare!!!! YOLO!!! CHICO BON BON!!!!!

Had the joy of helping the kid have fun today. forgot/haven’t recalled/[insert self-lamentation on how bad a job of parenting I’ve been doing for just under 3.5 years, sigh] ### +++ — …

think I like the overwhelming all the details of big cities, c. Jul ’15 NYC

//11:52p+18Jul20= Sat eve || the Belligerents covering Fatboy Slim’s “Praise You” on triple J – oh, yeah. it works!//

Well, if nothing else this proves that I can a) stop caring about the glory of well crafted stories, words that draw in your attention then give you a trail / path to meander down, until the clearing in the woods opens and you see the mountain lake, calling you in, a refreshing break from the labor of the hot hot day. Nope – you get random bits of chaos and crazy. I am hopeful that with practice, with the flexing of old unused muscles I can get to a place where I’ll look back and go ‘damn, that shit wasn’t half bad – wow’; sadly you’ll have to go back at least 5 years to find any of that captured creativity. but it’s there, and I’m oft stunned when I wander that far back.

there is magic, in it I find awe. c. Nov. ’14, Hobbit House

Ciao,
:: s ::
Respice ad diem hanc“Don’t Forget to Be Awesome”

//9:45a+18Jul2020= Saturday morn || “March March” by the Chicks, on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert – because we’re in dire straits//