30 + 1 is odd, as January heads into the sunset

from a frosty bed green escapes … or … fell down onto the frozen bed. One of the other. ~jan ’16

Living through a storm, when the typical becomes lost, the cold, frozen becomes the norm. How to hold onto hope that one day perhaps this will all go away?

We survive by keeping at it. By being lucky. By not succumbing to the fear and dread – getting through by going through so to speak.

{Mike Snow’s “Heart Is Full” from his album III is going to be in the top 10 for ’16 for me}

look up to see ~jan 16

Ah January, we will recall you fondly. Just as last January we survived with challenges met and lost, with pain and happiness, we shall find ourselves in February waiting for the next bout of shit, the next moment to find ourselves overjoyed.

I have this fear that I may have gotten myself to a place where I’m focusing on my friends’ wading through the shit of others with a thought of ‘keep at it, you’re doing great’, as opposed to ‘hey, let me help you step up and away from that …’

Can’t they step up and out?

Then I realize that no, they are bound to that path right now; the never ending struggle to lift their hearts up, their hearts chained to heavy weights that drag their focus down into the muck.

Fuck. I feel that my happy fucking pictures aren’t enough, my sunny disposition and outlook is exactly squat in the face of the onslaught. ‘Years from now they will know the truth – yay the permanence of our digital records!’ – but to get there is soooooo much slougging … will they have the strength? Will I have the strength?

We shall persevere! Also, coffee! ~Feb ’15

Past experience tells me yes, this too will be looked back upon.

flowers in spring ~apr ’15

Like the springtime blooming, we’ll get through the winter once more.

all you need is a plan ~apr ’15

Once we make it through, getting our feet unstuck from the muck and shit, we’ll breathe deep the soul cleansing air, and breathe.

Hold the ones you love dear close and tell them it’s going to be alright.

ciao,

{{11:05a + 29Jan2016 = Friday morn || John plays Urban Dance Squad’s “Deeper Shade of Soul” from their Mental Floss for the Globe album on John In the Morning at KEXP}}