Clash seemed like a good word … oddly, in February

2016-02-05
curling up winter returns … feb ’16

So, Clash – wow, it’s kinda relevant, ain’t it? //10:50 – Train in Vain, by the Clash …//

the punk ideal – what was that? what happens when punks grow up?

beside ‘reach for the sky’ … as they might. feb ’16

I wasn’t punk. I was cautious rebel. Motorcycle bad boy. Who returned to school after grabbing some lunch, getting a detention slip for leaving campus. But I came back! – don’t I get credit for that?

Seems in the world we live in being cautious and courteous is all good and well, but being able and willing to be completely dickish is a really good skill to have.

“You’ve got to let me know – should I stay or should I go?”

sunrise colors, and a large ball in our tree … feb ’16

My caution doesn’t make the steps I have taken, the steps I have to take, any easier. I’m stuck in this backward / back in time view-scape: if I had just done that, I’d know how to do this now; if I had known that legal pursuits are both profitable and somewhat inevitable, I’d have kept on keeping on my law school pursuits; if I had known money is made by being horrible, I’d have committed to my lying and cheating ways. Fuck.

But I didn’t. I haven’t. I’m here, now.
Perhaps the rage I’ve felt on and off through the years is just my inner punk, pogoin’ for any and everything to change and fall and burn and be different.
But the banks and bankers still stand, the cops still have the power to kill you so be scared; and there seems to minimal justice to be found – it’s all so much shit, that finding the good parts of your day, of my day – and celebrating them is both incredibly hard and so incredibly important.

looking at the sky, loving the colors, shapes, contrasts – it’s one way I stay sane. feb ’16

I’ve clashed with the ‘normal’ and ‘typical’ path for most of my life. If I wasn’t quite happy with it, I’m sure I’d be speaking at lengths with Boy Doctor regarding what’s wrong with me. But I’m pretty ok with who I am; where I am; who I have in my life. Hell, there are parts of my life I’m pretty sure define ‘atypical’ and ‘not normal’ – and those bits have been some of the best bits of my life.

the dude in the red coat, not smiling, but doing fine… feb ’16

We will step along our path, I will try to keep my head up and view forward – through the fits and futzs of the winter here in the south, into the spring and summer (hoping to have a great time in the mountains) … and forward.
To the next new year, when things will continue to be better and different and oh so sweet. Declarations and filings will become the past; facts may change and the truth will continue to bloom, visible to all who gaze upon the lush, gorgeous garden. Just be careful of the thorns, eh?

Hell, we’ll have another International Clash Day!! Thanks KEXP! “Go straight to hell, boy …” – but why should we be sexist, eh? ::s::

{9:10a + 5Feb16 =  Friday || Int’l Clash Day!!|| The Clash’s “Clash City Rockers” from their album The Clash, as John pogos, I’m sure, at KEXP}