patching the cracks in the facade…

a sunny day, clouds float by past the pine trees outside the office windows …
Boo sits in the dining room with friends – oh how that makes things better somehow – an external, un-forced joy sifts across the house. Holly’s laughter sounds like smiles, Karl’s sure to share his friends with us,

and Mika …

oh how good it is to have a pup about … to sit on beds on the floor, to wag a tail, to chase a bouncing ball under the dresser …

to sniff at an open window – hoping to know more about what’s outside…

is this just a reassurance that the words we use to describe the feelings we’re missing are right? is this just a reintroduction to the power and gravity of the ‘nimals pull? is this just what it is, life and love and joy and sadness and sorrow and hate?

oh the cracks, they come, they have to come. they cause me fear, for how do you put the pieces back together if you can’t pick anything up? so friends… oh our friends.
they love. they care. they act like the amazing people they are and they make our lives better, make our lives bearable at the times I can’t bear it any more… through acts of compassion, acts of humanity, acts of friendship. how the fuck did I get here? how the fuck did this happen?

of course, pushing this brings this to the open, and I can’t do that right now – we’re having a good time, right?
hmmm…

s.

{{12:13p + 6Dec2012=Thursday afternoon || Marc Cogman sings : Chairoscoro}}