All the green trees are painted grey, oddly in October

odd how this titled entry is for a morning of foggy gloom three days ago, and to day with the winds of the gods I … don’t change the title. huh.

It’s been an odd feeling week, like something foreboding is approaching, encroaching into our banal day-to-day happenstance. can I blame the halloween season? sigh.

//10:40a + 29Oct20 = late into a Thur morn || “Bad” from U2’s The Unforgettable Fire, from good soul John, on keXp//

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FIGHT – that’s the message 2020 is making crystal clear for me. Protests – reported today in Reuters – NYC/Philly over the police shooting of a man who needed help; diapproval of policy in Poland has thousands in the street – perhaps it will be the example/guidebook for how we Americans need to stand up against those who would take autonomy away from women; we will wear masks as long as we need to in order to help those who can’t help themselves; we will give when we can, shout when it’s all we can do, and we will not forget the leaders who took us to bad places – lookin’ at you shit stain (aka Mitch) – exactly how did one man become the dictator controlling what the people’s houses are doing in the name of and for the benefit of the people of this country? May he suffer immensely.

FIGHT – because it is worth the consequences. Tomorrow taught me that. If only I could be more effective in the discourse on how to #righttheship, as Andy says he wants but I’m pretty sure his ship doesn’t include all of my friends and for that I’m not particularly interested in his goals. but our ship is in trouble – that much is obvious.

//5:03 – “Can’t Put It In The Hands Of Fate” by Stevie Wonder feat. Rasody, Cordae, Chika & Busta Rhymes on good soul John’s show from Tuesday. thanks keXp!//

And so a day where I grapple with the things – the vote, the danger, the damage. I ask the questions I’ve asked for decades – what can I do? what is the right thing to do? does it matter?

And thus a transaction of faith and hope – give the vote, expect better, perhaps feel cheated, perhaps feel calm and loved. something something caveat emptor, eh?

//1:09p – “Genius of Love” by Tom Tom Club with Eva on The Midday Show on keXp//

back from outing – a bit of rain covers my tracks to the new Main Library where I dropped off my ballot envelope, stuffed into a blue bag with a stamp from the volunteer – let’s see what’s what, eh? dropped off broke Fire tab at UPS, got home and dug around for BallotTrax emails – alas, nope. so signed up – and now we wait.

james is here to keep rumbly company – but who’s helping who??!!!

//8:38a + 28Oct20 = Wednesday morn || “Pink + White+ by Frank Ocean on keXp’s Early with Gabriel, ’cause it’s a good thing.//

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A morning de-focused… 7:39a 27oct20

The sun was sweet, the air crisp but a tad wet, the dawn burning through the fog at the tippy top of the trees. My heart was saddened by the events of the previous spin about the axis – why are we so cruel to each other? at what amount of blood loss does mitch no longer exist as a cruel, hateful, masochistic demon pox upon the free world? I think 8 liters… (google allows me to note for typical – 180 lb – expect 4.5 – ~6 L; ergo between “If you lose more than 40 percent of your blood, you will die. This is about 2,000 mL, or 0.53 gallons of blood in the average adult.” Things to know.

I jotted down some thoughts on changes to facts, changes to truths, and my dismay and despair at the turn of events. my hope in my country has been rattled, my faith in the goodness of the citizens of my country has been doused in vile actions that give the characters pause to gloat – gloat over the making of lives worse in our country – what the fuck?

//10:28a – good soul John spins good soul Prince’s Little Red Corvette, from the album 1999, released on this date in 1982 – oh the joy of the 80s history, eh?//

Barry swung by, gonna get things taken care of apparently, because wtf.

//11:41a – “Everybody Breaks” by Ivan & Aloysha, spun by good soul John on keXp//

oh the distractions, eh? passing on election day effort – should I finish the tech classes? ugh.

boo’s off, and I wonder what to do – so much to do here. my distraction means no letters to mitch/thom/dick trio – ’cause what does it matter? what does matter to them? $$$ – how can one person impact the patronage of the power-broker whores? how do you crack the hold the dealers have on the addicts?

I listen to the music, find the hope in the humanity I experience in the broadcast; but they’re scared too. we’re all afraid – how can the nightmare come true? and for someone who’s not an action based participant (NPC, kinda, right?) I wonder what I will do, what I will accomplish with my flailing. Because even if we’re ‘triumphant’ in a week, we are fucked for a decade. what now, amigos, what now?

one of the crushing thoughts I had recently is the expenditure for the elections – that money could save lives, towns, communities. but it is wasted. kinda sucks we’re so bad at citizening. there’s got to be a word for people who don’t want the game to be fair…

Ciao,
:: s ::
Respice ad diem hanc | “Don’t Forget to Be Awesome”

//8:47a + 27Oct20 = Tuesday, the 7th best day of the week || Gabriel brings heart and love for those in Philly and those who suffer based on their luck at birth, “Born Ready” by Rebel Diaz and Tef Poe feat. The Reminders held my attention, making me think March March by the Chicks would fit nicely into the mix…//