oddly in July, summer filled energy and angst

rain falls to the ground, occasionally missing – Jul ’18, durhamtown

Summer in durhamtown – personally not the best thing about durhamtown. ’cause … the south. Warm. A bit muggy. Of course, the amount of snow I have to shovel balances things out. Gotta keep the big picture in mind, right?

How’s life treating y’all, as summer rolls over the land, things heating up, things getting sticky. Hope you find a moment or three of respite, of solace, of joy.

choices were made. choices were mildly regretted – Jul ’18, Hobbit House

Here is a picture of a breakfast (really anytime – right?) pastry – there is truth in this picture – somethings are better together, somethings are not. My truth is that a half-assed frosted strawberry ‘Tart – even attached to a cheesecake flavored attempt – is one of the “are not” situations. Now what truth I do not know is if this situation – where two things, together, are not really more than either one separately – can be improved. I’d offer the suggestion that you could have one foil pouch with two distinct pastries – as opposed to smushing two flavors together. Kinda like a fraternal pack of ‘Tarts.

look at me – I’m a curious fellow! SCIENCE!! early in the morning, in front of the wee lad! Jul ’18, Hobbit House

Here is a picture of an experiment/example – there is truth in this picture – the truth that we will change, we can change, and yet still be ourselves. A bit hard to see (esp. if you’re not displaying GIFs (also, it’s not pronounced like the peanut butter. something something a hill I’m willing to die on!) which happens) – but basic science class show & tell. It’s water. It’s all water. Just different states, different types of water. Different ways of being. How can I use this as an example of our current state of affairs? I ponder – energy levels, transitions of state, dissipation? Hmmm…

If you think about it this is the world we live in – Jul ’18, durhamtown

Here is a picture of a computer – there is truth in this picture – the truth that even though we live an existence by ourselves, we are almost never alone; others will be involved in your life literally from day 1. Now, this message – well that’s a lovely message, isn’t it? At least until you think about it a bit.

Who is this “We”, what is everything, why “getting ready”, and is it really for me? That’s kinda creepy. But it’s truly inevitable. In the world we live in, no matter your efforts, there will be unnamed, faceless masses impacting your every day. I’m sure if you pursued a different way of living, say //Alaska guy// then you’d be much closer to an ideal.

But here, now – we are all but entombed with a choir on high, pushing and pulling, taking and giving, saving and deleting – or perhaps not, for we don’t realize where we walk, where our footsteps fall, where our fingerprints are stuck. A much more complex maze to walk through, but … we still have to start where we are and make our way across the room. It’s what we do every day that counts the most.

reflections on modern parenting – Jul ’18, Hobbit House

Here is a picture of a father & son spending time together – there is truth in this picture – my truth is that as I observe this incredible, miraculous, mundane point of our existence unfold before me I am curious, amazed, and befuddled. His truth will be distinct, different, better I hope, and yet contain the identical pathways of growth from child to adult, amazing to amazed, from crawling to standing tall.

There’s the oh so predictable feels of ‘how to help but be able to let go?’ & ‘why the hell would we ever let go??!!’ & ‘wow, kids can make you feel extra crazy!’ – but I can see in this pic all the great things I hope he gets to enjoy. Playing, posing, reading, camera-ing – but it’s the immutable knowledge that I have very little control over his arc. So what can I do? What can I do? There’s the ‘catchphrase of the summer!’ – it goes nicely with this video – though I think the whole IWYDED thing should be a focus for me. Do v try, also.

more of this ‘we’ shit – WHO ARE YOU!!!! WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED??? – Jul ’18, late at night

Here is a picture of a computer – there is truth in this picture – the truth that things have changed. My truth includes a stint installing Windows ’95 onto office 486DX (the ones with the math co-processors operational!) desktops. All 31 diskettes.

All 31 diskettes. Times 5 machines. Hurt my thumb, as I recall.

This message notes how far we’ve come – Windows is no longer something you buy in a box and spend a weekend updating so that on Monday everyone and their Uncle can bitch bitch bitch about how now there’s a mouse, and windows, and oh look – solitaire. Oh never mind…

So if we HAVE to be computerized – and we do; and we aren’t the sole gatekeeper for what goes on inside the OS – what is that? We’re users, with no control? We are distracted, we have no control. I guess we could boot up a copy of Win’95 and live a more simple, in control life. I sense a historical equivalency there with, say, the Amish – horse and buggy, bright reflective orange warning triangle attached, trotting down State Route 15, life in the slow-fast lane. A Win’95-ful life would probably be just  as risky. I have no answers, but I’m happy I ponder my truth.

My post the other day noted a few things that I haven’t addressed in this post – Boo’s fears as stoked by the insanity of our society seemingly in the early outbreaks of an obvious very slow zombie scourge – perhaps their brains have been eaten already, but they can still drive, vote, talk on TV, use Twitter. It would help explain a few things, yes?

Nor did I take a look at how I will make my stand, how I will announce my stand, how I will extend my hand in friendship and camaraderie – the build a longer table, not a higher wall mentality.

Nor have I done a million other things – yet it seems I’ve done the bare minimum. Truly want to do more than that. If only the energy wasn’t based in angst, eh?

Take care of each other, alright?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  that makes me think of Ed & Jeff, of their kindnesses, their challenges, their wonderfully fine example of being good people. The world could stand to have a few more Ed & Jeffs, just saying.

I don’t number these but I’m glad I came back as soon as I did. the thoughts above are good thoughts, that’s the truth I see.

ciao,

//11:05a + 13July2018 = Friday morn || keXp’s evie spins ‘Rebel, Rebel’ by the thin white duke//